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In speaking with a great deal of people who have lost their mothers, it seems the most common thought is that you suddenly feel alone. Our initial goal here is to show you that you are not alone at all. While your specific situation is very unique, many people have had the very same questions and thoughts as you are having. 

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What do I do now that the person who has been my foundation is no longer there to lean upon?

So many people say that this is the first and most daunting question that they face once the reality sets in that your mother has passed. And overwhelmingly, people agree that, while it sounds incredibly cliche, you really do need to just take one day at a time, or else the situation as a whole will overwhelm you. 

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I know that I should just be sad, but I'm actually very angry!

One thing that you need to quickly move past is how you "should" feel. There is no one way to deal with loss! Each individual deals with the loss of a loved one in their own personal way. Some people cry a lot. Some people try to be stoic to help others. Some people even use humor to deflect some of the pain. There will be certain people who will look at you and judge your grief management process, and you need to realize that it's THEIR problem. You do whatever you need to do to be able to get through. 

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Birthdays will never be the same

Unfortunately, you are absolutely correct. Your birthday, her birthday, the anniversary of her passing, as well as major holidays...they will all be difficult at first. The initial instinct is to feel a sense of loss on those days. However, many will choose to intentionally take a few moments on those days, to sit and actively recall happy personal memories that you shared, associated with birthdays and holidays and other random joyful occasions.  

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It's ok that you're not ok

So many people are embarrassed to admit that they are struggling. So many people feel like it's a weakness to admit that you're hurting. Grief is a process. It's not something that you "get over" instantly. It's likely that you are going to experience moments where you're just fine and then suddenly you get hit with a wave of emotion and want to sit down and cry. That doesn't mean that you're weak. It means that you have love. 

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I felt so guilty for having a moment where I felt glad that she is gone

This is actually common for a very specific situation. When you've had a number of years to watch her health decline, seeing your mom struggle to perform tasks that were once simple to her. Maybe you know that having to let others take care of her has left her in a state of regular depression, making her unhappy. Maybe she is feeling physical pain that makes her question if she still wants to be here. It's so hard to watch someone who has meant so much to you, suffer day after day, and you feel that you can't do anything to help. It is not uncommon to feel a spark of relief or happiness that the person you love is no longer suffering.   

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Losing the earthly presence of your mother isn't something that you will ever "get over."

The key is to reach a state of being where that feeling of love and warm memories overshadows the feeling of loss. You never want to forget her...you want to remember the joy that she provided for you.